Wednesday, November 11, 2009

back slide

I got a couple comments/emails asking if I was still "kicking" "here" "etc". The answer is YES...the more in depth answer is "ummm...its been a weird week and a half and I gotta find my motivation again.

My husband and I headed to Ohio/Virginia/New Jersey last week for my dear cousins wedding. i decided I was going to have a fun week with food and "cheat" a bit...not stress...just be on vacation. And I had a blast (no not because of the food) it was just amazing to see my family! But, it has proven 100 times harder than I thought to get back in the "diet mode". Any ideas? Yes, I gained weight...blah. Im not putting that number up right now, cause it makes me pretty annoyed with myself. I am pretty down right now...not a good feeling.

So, starting tomorrow I need to revamp things. Now, that it is written down I will do it

Thursday, October 29, 2009


So, what do you do when you hate veggies? Is there a magic pill that will make me like them? Its not that I hate ALL veggies...just a lot of them...especially the ones that are really good for you that fill you up. When you are dieting I know veggies are supposed to be your best friend, especially cause they are low in calories and big on that "fill you up magic" but I am just a picky eater.

Anyone got a magic trick for this? Something that they do with their kids?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Will I ever get it?

Every time I say I am going to blog more, write down more I don't. So, I am not going to say that this time...then I won't feel terrible when I don't do it. I am simply going to say I am still plugging along...I have a question for you three or so who actually read this blog...

HOW DO I MAKE MYSELF LIKE TO EXERCISE? Or do I just simply motivate myself to do it? It's not that I don't "know" I need to. I DO! I know that I will never get to a "healthy" weight without it. I just have no motivation to make my 290+ lb body run, or walk, or do jumping jacks and hurt. I have no motivation to do it alone. I have no desire to feel like a failure when I can't finish 10 minutes of a 30 minute workout. Does anyone else get this way? How do you overcome it? do you ever?

I weighed in today and am down 2.2 lbs. Total of 18.9lbs. Still my clothes fit "about" the same. I KNOW that's because I haven't added in toneing...haven't added in exercise...that should motivate me...but it hasn't. Anyone want to give me a kick in the butt????

Thursday, October 15, 2009


This is a new thing for me...accountability. With this weight watchers/diet thing I am actually being accountable to someone...the most important person there is really, myself. Of course my husband, and family are important, and in fact they are MORE important to me. BUT, in losing weight I have to do it for me. And honestly this is the FIRST time I have actually done it for ME. Not because society said "you're too fat" or because I wanted to be a size 2 (although this would be nice) or because my husband wanted me stick thin (cause he doesn't, he loves my curves...why i dont know, but he does, really, i mean how lucky am i?) But, this time I am actually doing it for me. For my happiness. for MY health. For my sanity.

this is such a new thing for me. But I can honestly say in 7 and a half weeks I have written down EVERY SINGLE THING I have eaten. I have taken accountability for my choices. Have I always been proud? NO. Have I always been healthy? NO WAY. But, I have always been accountable. I have always said "wow, that wasn't so good. tomorrow will be better" Or I have said "tonight is a special occasion I am going to splurge." and I can also say I have not ONCE gone over my points for the week. Granted I have used my flex points almost every week, but NEVER gone over. That's HUGe for me. So today I am celebrating my accountablity.

I am thinking starting in Jan. I want a group to be accountable to and some healthy competition. But for right now I am accountable to me, and that feels GREAT!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Start of week 7

Today was weigh in. Down 4.6 lbs. Total of 17.4 lbs. Which is great, I'll take it. I am a little discouraged that my clothes aren't fitting looser. I am in the same sizes. Nothing seems to feel different. Anyone else experience that? I am excited to hit the 20lb mark. Gotta keep going. Gotta keep going.

Monday, October 5, 2009


This is the first time since I started this weight loss program that I have actually gained. Granted, it was only .2 lbs, but it was still a gain. It’s frustrating. I know that part of the reason is that I am not really exercising. I am doing more than I “normally” do, but that isn’t saying MUCH. I need to kick it up. I also need to make a conscious effort to eat better foods. Yes, I am staying within my points, but they are not the healthiest choices in foods. So, those are my goals this week. Hopefully next Monday will show me a loss.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Under 300

Today was weigh in day, and the start of week 5. I weighed in at 298. That is still super obese, BUT, for anyone who reads this that ALSO means I am down a total of 13 lbs, and it means I am UNDER 300 lbs. FINALLY. Geez. I am rather excited about this. It is a slow process, but I am hoping by sticking with it and doing it 1. the right way. 2. the slow, take your time, lose it correctly it won't come back as easily. RIGHT? RIGHT? Please tell me I am somewhat right? :)

The diet has been going pretty good. I haven't had any "HOLY COW" days. I have been following my weight watchers points pretty good, and with the 35 flex points for the week have stayed within the points every week. The exercise is another story. After the 2 days of stepping last week I thought I was going to die. I got the worst pains in my legs...between that and Bobs biggest loser video. BUT, I have been averaging a mile of just plain walking a day. Not "purposeful" walking, but errands and cleaning and such...i have a pedometer on my phone. So, that's WAY WAY more than I was before. So, i guess it's one step at a time. And I am learning that's what weight loss is really all pound, one ounce at a time

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Feel the BURN...

So I am rather proud of myself. I have started doing step aerobics, granted its on the Wii fit, but still. Yesterday I did 25 minutes and today I did 20 minutes. My legs are slightly burning, but its a good burning. Burning calories. Each day the stepping equaled a little over half a mile each day. So, not too bad. It's a start, and its moving, which I wasn't doing before, so :)

I am hoping as I lose weight the exercise will increase. That I will feel more comfortable moving and be more willing to let my "jiggly parts" jiggle. Anyone else watch the biggest loser last night? Love that show...motivates me to keep is anyone else doing? I know not that many people read this, but i like hearing how everyone is doing!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Bob Harper is trying to kill me

OK, so Bob Harper is NOT REALLY TRYING TO KILL ME, but it kind of felt like it. I have not moved that much in well...MONTHS. I decided to bite the bullet and try my Biggest Loser workout DVD today. I don't think i was ready for it. I didn't make it through the entire workout. I couldn't do the last two moves, my knee (the one i had surgery on, was DONE) The pain was horrible, so I stopped and took my prescription pain meds and put ice on it. But considering I did EVERYTHING else I was pretty impressed, and know I can work up to doing the whole thing, I would guess within a week ? Hopefully. And it was a decent workout, and I got REALLY sweaty...guess that's what happens when a 300lb person trys that workout. I can't imagine how those poor people ON the biggest loser show work out that hard...I admire them!! Speaking of which...did anyone see that last night? I BAWLED! Geez...Has anyone noticed how all my blogs are run-on paragraphs? I should work on that...maybe next time...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Starting to move...

Since I tore my ACL back in March I have been VERY limited in my ability to exercise, and even if I haven't been I have had a very good excuse. I have sprained and pulled my ACL numerous times since having surgery to repair my ACL as well. SO, it has bee a LONG rode to recovery. It is still not 100%...but yesterday I did some exercise. I did 13 minutes of Wii fit...I did the step exercise and did 15 minutes on the exercise bike. I also have the biggest loser workout DVD, but have not worked up the courage to start it yet...maybe next week. :) But you gotta start somewhere. I am excited for the Biggest Loser to start tonight!!! It motivates me so much!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Fiber One found yumminess

I have heard of Fiber One Bars before, but never actually got around to trying them til this past week. They just scared me, to be honest. My friends, Emily and Dan told me "no, really...they are good." So I broke down and tried them, and you know what? I LOVE them! They are only 2 weight watchers points and they are SUPER filling. they are a great snack and also a great small breakfast. I love the chocolate and oats and also the peanut butter and oats. YUM-O. Still looking for other good ideas. But, I am going into week 3. Still only down 10.4 lbs, but hey, that's 10 lbs GONE. YAHOOO

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Breakfast ideas?

I have been doing pretty well. I feel good, I don't feel "starving" or desperate. I found some good snacks, and some good "treats" main problem seems to be finding some good breakfasts. Any ideas? Since no one actually reads this blog I am more asking myself...hmm...I did try a d-lite breakfast bowl from jimmy dean this morning with potatoes, turkey sausage, egg whites and cheese and it was yummy and only 5 points. It was pretty filling too. I will probably try those again. I just get frustrated when I eat the same things over and over, or when I eat something and then am hungry an hour later. Anyway...something to work on.

But, i am happy that I am feeling good and don't want to binge, even with lots of good treats in the house. That is HUGE for me. :) I even bought my hubby drum sticks, one of my favorite desserts and i haven't even sneaked one. YAHOO me!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Weigh in #1

Today it has been 1 week. I lost 6 lbs. My weight today was 305 lbs. Still too high, but great start. It gives me hope to continue. i had a really good week on my eating. Things to work on, things to continue.

1. VEGGIES and FRUITS - work on this

My weight watchers points go down to 36 now.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

When reality hits you...

Do any of you ever wake up and get "dolled up" and feel pretty/amazing/beautiful/just "ta-da". You are ready to "conquer the day". Only later to see a picture of yourself and have your whole world come shattering down around you? Well, I had just that this weekend.

I have always been big, heavy, fat...always, since I can remember. But, I have always "carried it well" or so I/everyone else have told me/myself. I have let this "lie" convince me that I am big and fat but that I am not as big and fat as I really am...does that make sense?

Well, today was my best friend's wedding. I searched and searched for a dress. I bought one on eBay, and HATED it. My hips looked huge...not flattering...wrong color...etc. So I found another one at Lane Bryant and was "settling" with it. At 8:00 am Saturday my best friend, her maid of honor and I went and got our hair done and got all "dolled up". I thought I looked beautiful. I went to the wedding, the morning/early afternoon part. My husband took pictures...then we came home in between before the night time ring ceremony and this is what I found on our camera!!!

I was shattered! I look huge...which means I AM HUGE! More huge than I even realized! More huge than I imagined. I was devastated. What's worse is that NO ONE, not ONE person let me know who AWFUL and UNFLATTERING that dress was.

So...this is a wake up call...butt in gear!~

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 4

It has been a pretty good week, start to the diet, whatever we should call it. I have stayed within my points everyday but one, and that day I used 2 flex points. So, pretty good. I have been drinking LOTS and LOTS of water, which feels good. I have just added those 5 calorie crystal lights to the water when I need a break from just plain old water. I am not a huge water fan unless there is TONS of ice. But I have been doing it.

Fruits and veggies has been OK. Mostly the fruit. I am a picky eater believe it or not. Especially when it comes to green things. But I am making an effort, so that is a plus.

I am still not in the swing of moving, exercising, but I am sure that will come. I am focusing on one thing, or a couple things at a time...I don't want to "overload" myself and then get discouraged and stop altogether. I did order a biggest loser workout DVD for $4.00 on ebay, so I am hoping that will motivate me a little. And as soon as I can get my stupid knee to cooperate that would be wonderful too.

On the whole I am feeling good. I did learn something yesterday though...when you get hungry you gotta eat. You can't wait...cause if you do you binge. Even on a diet. I waited and by the time I ate i was STARVING...and ate way too many points all at once then felt rather sick. So I need to work on eating every 2 or 3 hours. That's my goal for the rest of the week...listen my body

Monday, August 24, 2009


I have started a weight loss blog before, but chickened out, or rather "stopped" the diet, but this time...this time there is no choice. I am out of control. I am unhealthy. I am unhappy. I am in need of a new way to look at here goes. My stats, yes I am being SUPER brave posting these. I am going to be following weight watchers at home....I am going to try to post everyday, if not everyday, on a regular basis to keep myself in line. So, here goes:

Starting weight: 311lbs (YIKES)
Neck measurement: 16'
Bust measurement: 47'
Waist measurement: 50'
hip measurement: 61'
arm measurement: 20'

Points allowed each day: 37 pts
I also have 35 flex pts each week