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Monday, November 1, 2010

Here we go once again...

Today is a new month, which means its time to start back on the band wagon of losing weight. I gained 27 lbs during my pregnancy...and have lost 17 of those lbs. But still I gotta go down. Til the start of the year I am just doing simple changes...not eating after 8, not eating too much sugar, etc. Focusing on moving more. Because I know that the holidays will be hard, so I am allowing myself "wiggle" room, but not too much. Im also going to try to post on here more.

Here's to another try!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Any ideas on de-stressing while pregnant. Everything everyone tells me is to keep calm, and healthy. But boy am I stressed beyond measure. Can't find a job, and as my due date creeps ever closer its harder to find an employer who will hire me. Money stinks! Also the fact that my stupid headaches are back and I am more nauseous now than ever in this pregnancy makes me hormonal, cranky, and stressed.

On a happy not though i am ALMOST half way done. Monday I will be 18 weeks...The baby is healthy and seems to be growing well. I am excited to know if its a boy or girl and to meet the little one. Hope everyone is well

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

bump question

Am I a bad person because I really, really don't want to take bump pictures? I mean I KNOW if I don't Ill regret it later, but it is such a hard time in my life. On the 1 hand I am so excited, happy, nervous, loving/loved, etc. On the other I am sick, tired, huge (i seriously look like Im 7 months...Im not even 4 yet).

Just a thought...wondered opinions

Monday, June 14, 2010

ravings

I kind of decided I was going to not do this blog at all during pregnancy, but that seems to be a mistake. So, ill check in from time to time.

The first trimester i thought I was going to die. I was SO sick! Headaches, throwing up, exhaustion, bronchitis, etc. NO FUN! Then I hit the 2nd trimester and it was literally like night and day. Except I now have a cold, but I have more energy, so i don't feel as bad with this cold.

I am struggling, really struggling with the weight gain. I KNOW it's ok to gain some weight. I also know that the baby needs it. But it's hard when you have numerous people around you who are pregnant, and you can't tell, or better yet, they have LOST weight!>>> (sigh of horrible jealousy) I was huge when I got pregnant, I know that, the world knows that. But I am feeling bigger by the day, and I am only 15 weeks. Sigh. This is going to be a long process. I know its for the better good, but its hard not to compare...anyone have suggestions on that?

So far I have gained 11 lbs (although before I got pregnant I gained all the weight I lost back plus 3 lbs. SO, it feels like I have gained 30! Sigh, but the dr's notes and such, which I am going off of say 11..so i am taking that, so i don't completely freak. I keep telling myself in Jan. i can start hard again...but it seems forever away.

Wow, this was a depressing post. On a happy note, my hubby loves me no matter what and supports me 110%

Monday, May 24, 2010

on hold

well as some of you know, and some don't...I am pregnant, and therefore putting my weight loss on hold for now. In dec once baby is born then I will go full force. We are due Dec 6th and SUPER excited

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Feb. sucked!

Well February sucked weight loss wise. First there was the super bowl. Then there was Valentine's day. Then I had surgery. Then it was our 1 year anniversary. And in the midst of all of that I started a new job. So STRESS, and lots of food.

I didn't gain, so I guess that's what I should focus on. But I didn't lose my 9lbs either. Not even close. But, I figure March is a new month...I'm hitting it head on!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Why?

Why is it that when you are sick, tired, depressed, etc you just want food? Comfort food. Lots of sweet, salty, yucky stuff. I had my knee surgery on Monday and that's all I have been doing...eating and resting. Not good for the weight loss. Sigh. I don't think I'll be making my 9lb goal. But I am ok if I just lose enough to make it an average of 9lbs (so 18 since jan) Starting Monday I can exercise again...so hopefully that will kick this in the butt.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Super Bowl Sunday

We had a huge party at our friend's house. There was SO much food. And of course it was all yummy, and fattening. :) I ate, and ate. I stopped when I got full, but man...I ate way too much still. And not good stuff for me. SIGH...I guess the trick is to pick myself back up and get in gear today. How did everyone else do yesterday?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Officially down 17 lbs!

Well, the month of Jan, the first month back on my eating better plan was a success. I met my goal of losing at least 9 lbs per month for a year, and I feel good about how I am doing.

Of course there are choices I make that could be better...or things I "just can't not eat, yet" But, I am feeling better and slowly losing this weight that has trapped me, suffocated me for my whole life.

I lost 14 lbs in Jan...for a total of 17 since I started this plan. Ill take what I can get. New month, another 9 lbs to go....here's to another good month!

HOW are you doing?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Up and Down, Up and Down

My weight keeps going up and then down, then back up, then back down. I think my body is trying to adjust to "eating healthier/better/more often" but it is annoying none the less.

Right now my focus is still 9lbs per month for a year. I can do that.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Update

I am "almost" 2 weeks into being back on track, and things feel great! I have lost weight (no, i am not reporting it right now because I gained so much back over the holidays being off track and out of control) I am drinking water lots, and eating more fruits and vegetables than ever. my only "real" downfall right now is nighttime...you know, right before bed, when you are watching a movie with your hubby and are craving food...and not a carrot...real food...junk food...sweets...salts...whatever. At about 9 pm I always want a snack...always. I have been saving points to do just this...but eating that late is not good for me, i know it. Any ideas???

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Surgery

Well, I found out today I DID in fact tear my meniscus in my left knee (mind you this WAS the good knee) and have to have surgery on it. It's currently scheduled for Feb 15th, unless someone cancels, which I am hopeing for. The pain is incredible. Yes, I know that a lot of that is from my fibromyalgia and therefore I am more sensitive to pain...but still it hurts! So, no exercise for a couple months. Sigh. One day I'll get there. So, instead I need to focus on eating better, good, right. So far so good. Granted only day 3, but still its going well.

Funny story. I made the receptionist at my Dr's office curse today. They gave me a shot of steroids in my knee, to tide me over til surgery. Then the Dr walked me out to the desk to set up my presurgery appointment. Well, while standing there I suddenly felt all color and blood drain from my face. I felt sweaty and hot. I felt light headed like never before and my ears rang...i couldn't hear anything. I said to the dr and receptionist "I need to sit down NOW" the receptionist looked up and said "holy s***" and they each grabbed an arm and helped me sit down. I drank 3 glasses of water and ate a granola bar before i was feeling better. They all kept asking me if I was sure I was OK because I was SO pale. I was pale! And I didn't feel great still, but at least I didn't pass out. And I have a slightly funny story to tell.

So, here's to the rest of the week following my points!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Motivation

My biggest struggle with my weight is that it has caused an intense HATRED of myself. My body, and everything about me. I can't be good at something because I am fat. I can't be pretty because I am fat. I can't be because I fat. You get the idea.

I am married to an amazing man who puts up with my self hate, but he hates it. He loves me for who I am, fat rolls and all. He sees my eyes and my smile and my talents and attributes. When all I see is FAT!

I just read a wonderful book called Hungry, by Crystal Renn. It's a book about a girl who modeled and became severely anorexic. She was 5'9 and 95 lbs. She looked terrible! Well, after 2 years of that life she stopped. She gained weight and is a happy plus size model at a healthy size 12. ANYWAY...the point is she learned to love herself...all of her...her body, her weight, her hair, everything.

I admire that immensely! Because I can't seem to do that. There is a quote in her book I am going to use..."Don't change your body to fit your mind's perception of what it SHOULD look like. Change your mind to appreciate your ACTUAL body." Does this mean I should love being obese and unhealthy? OF COURSE NOT! I just need to accept that I will probably always have "bat arms" and "chunky thighs". But I have a strong body, and it was given to me by my Heavenly Father. So, I am taking one day at a time to appreciate myself...body and all!

1 year

Ok. So, I have decided to be practical, sensible. Rather than looking at my weight loss as "I have over 100 lbs to lose" I am going to look at it this way (thanks Amie) If i lose just 9lbs a month for 1 year I will be under 200 lbs for the first time since I was i don't know, a long, long time! That makes me excited. I won't be fully done then, but pretty close to where I think i will stay.

So, day one...almost down and feeling good!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Where I have been lately...

Well to be honest I got frustrated! I started feeling super exhausted. I gained weight even following weight watchers to the tee. (like 10 lbs in a month, gag!) When I finally hit rock bottom and went to the DR they informed me that my thyroid had crashed and burned. I started on thyroid medicine right away and am feeling a little better..hopefully that continues to improve.

Also, on Dec 23rd I stepped down my stairs in our apartment and heard a loud pop in my left knee (no, not the one I had surgery on, but the "good knee") It hurt horribly for a week, when I went to the DR he said it seemed like I tore/pulled/hurt my meniscus and sent me to my orthopedist. The ortho said it was VERY likely I tore the meniscus...and sent me for an mri, which I will get the results of on Wed. REALLY? Can't I catch a break!

Either way, no matter if i need ANOTHER surgery or not I am starting back up on loosing weight on Monday. I am doing 2 different contests to help. One with a blog I follow, biggest loser style and the other with my amazing, wonderfully supportive 2nd family. Which there will be prizes and money every 3 months...So lots of motivation! My mom has lost 41 lbs since August...I want to follow her lead this time! Gotta stay motivated and accountable